Men who grow up fatherless or lack a close relationship with their father face an uphill struggle when it comes to sex, money and power, says the author of a new book.
According to Dave Bruskas, young men are not being encouraged to grow up and make a healthy transition into adulthood and this is having a negative impact on their lives and communities.
“I see the same things over and over,” said Bruskas, “many young men..they’ve missed that affectionate fatherly relationship. A lot of times, where I see shortcomings manifest are in the three big categories of money, sex, and power.”
Bruskas believes that young men are not being trained how to handle money in their teens. “A lot of dads have not prepared their boys to go out in the world where at least in our economy, we have a shrinking number of jobs that will really allow a man to provide for his family.”
Young men don’t know how to pursue women
He is also concerned about the negative impact that pornography is having on young men. “A lot of them don’t know how to appropriately, assertively pursue a woman,” he said.
Finally, Bruskas believes that young men are not embracing their power and independence, two characteristics that he says are the cornerstones of masculinity.
“Because most young men don’t enter the world in a very powerful position, power to them looks like independence. They don’t seem to know how to handle their independence in constructive ways. A lot of young men I meet are entirely independent, they’re aimless and trying to find an identity and trying to find a place”.
Men’s lives damaged
According to Bruskas, having a strong, affectionate father or father figure can provide the structure that helps young men make a healthy transition in adulthood rather than adopting destructive lifestyles that can do “enormous damage” to men’s lives and “wreck and ruin” the communities where they live.
What do you think? Do sex, money and power make a man and does the absence of a good father make it difficult for young men to thrive and be healthy in these areas?
—Picture Credit: filckr/Nolan O’Brien
Article by Glen Poole author of the book Equality For Men